Sunday, May 28, 2006

life lessons hard learned

So, being here the last few weeks has been like a constant attack on my pride. For all my years of striving to be strong and independent, able to fend for myself and rise to any challenge with success, I suddenly find myself a very weak, incompetent young woman. It does not really matter anymore what I could do back in the States, what I have studied, learned or have experienced. Here, I am “worthless” (at least that is the term that one of our friends has jokingly deemed us). Though she teases, I know in her eyes there is much truth in it. I do not know how wash out my clothes by hand (at least not as well as they do). I do not know how to cook African food. I cannot carry five gallons of water on my head without spilling it… I can hardly carry two gallons of water on my head without spilling it. Even something as simple as sweeping the floor shows my clumsiness for I am used to using a western broom and not the small handheld ones that they use, which require you to be bent over completely at the waist. Actually, I’m still trying to figure out how to keep my skirt wrapped around me without it falling off. (No, it hasn’t happened yet, but they are tricky little things.) And on top of everything the two of us can hardly put together a complete sentence that is understandable. Everything that is expected of an average woman here is completely foreign to me. And because the African way is to joke and tease constantly, I am rarely unaware of my incapabilities. Of course it doesn’t help that Reaiah has decided to add another insult to the list by telling our friends that I don’t bathe… so now every time we see our friend she asks, “Kacy, did you bathe yesterday? Did you bathe today?”… and, of course, it doesn’t matter what you say in response, you never convince them otherwise, or at least they don’t care enough to acknowledge that, yes, you actually ARE clean.
I’m not sure why their good natured teasing seems to wound my pride so much. It’s not as though I am not used to being made fun of by friends and family. Maybe it’s because for possibly the first time in my life I have no defense… what they’re saying is true. (well, except for the bathing thing…)

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